Last week I hated checking my social media. It was the first week back at school for Mizzou and I was definitely having some syllabus week FOMO.
The excitement of moving in with your friends. The “random people you know but aren’t necessarily friends with, so you haven’t talked all summer, but still would give a hug to at a bar” reunions. The week of no real responsibilities so every bar would have ridiculous specials (I really miss those 75 cent triple wells and $1 beer nights right about now).
I miss all of those things.
For 17 years, I went to school every August. Elementary school meant new school supplies and ice cream socials and recess. Middle school meant new clothes (remember when Hollister was a thing?) and trying to
embrace hide social awkwardness. High school meant new freedoms and driving and sneaking out past your curfew. College meant even more freedoms and self-discovery and cheap, late-night pizza.
But post-college… what does that mean? (Well, besides student loans)
It’s a weird feeling because as much as I would give to be back celebrating the beginning of the semester with my college friends, I also don’t miss it.
I love my job. I love the freedom of no homework. I love getting to try new things and explore new places.
But I also miss the routine. It’s like you’re in the same time zone for 17 years and all of a sudden you switch time zones and have major jet lag.
It didn’t really hit me until last week that I wasn’t going back to Mizzou. While I know I’m a “real adult” now, it still doesn’t feel like it. Maybe it never will.
TSwift said it best- I’m “happy, free, confused and lonely in the best way.”
22 is weird. Post-grad is weird. But I’m okay with it.